DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
