Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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