I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
