quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
