Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
The ass gains better be worth it
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