i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
