i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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