another moral hangover. fuck.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
