Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
My balls are so social today.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
