I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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