A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
