one might say we're banned from that church
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
