A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
