Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
