so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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