She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
