this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
