Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
