what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
