i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
