i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
