So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
