She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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