So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
