the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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