i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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