I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
