i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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