So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
