we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
