I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
As shirtless as possible
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
