Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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