wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
