It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
