He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
