so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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