so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
