He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
