I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
pop tarts are not kleenex
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
