the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Drake has all the answers
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
