I am puke
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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