"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
