im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
