Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
