All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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