Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
