mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
