I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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