Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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