This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
she told me i tasted like america
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
