her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
