We're facebook friends in real life
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
