There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
